You have said that you can cut people out
That you drain what they have and then leave
You can discard the shells as you suck others
Seeking the vessel that will not empty
Perhaps you think this is the way that you work
Finding one stimulation and moving to the next
Perhaps this is part of the way that you operate
While waiting for the shape that will see into you
Cutting people out implies an emotional ice
That does not seem to be in your possession
The lack of emotion the severance would imply
Does not equate with your reservoirs of passion
To be able to scream into the thick silence
Looking desperately for some pressure release
To shake and convulse hoping the pain will pass
To try to drown the sorrow and all it entails
All of these moments when you seemed overwhelmed
When you faced the fear and anger and horror
When you bravely stayed on the chosen path
Requires a courage that is not emotionally bereft
I think you choose the path you want to be on
Sometimes that means disassociating from others
You are cutting them out of your immediate sphere
But, you are not cutting them out of you
About Me
- Jenna
- I am a Lover. I love people. I adore the possibilities that love affords us and the paths it opens to us.
1 comment:
I have often been accused of this.
Of cutting people out of my life.
"Burning bridges," or not "seeking forgiveness."
"Moving on," or "expecting perfection."
But sometimes I think, I am the one who has been forgotten. Is it possible to cut someone out, if they are still at the starting gate?
Oh how I long for others to be in my life. Even just a little bit.
There must be something we can relate to, something we can hold onto in unison? Anything that will give us a bit of a history together.
But when I open up, and they shut down, when I get excited, and they turn away, when I experience deeply, and they have nothing interesting to say.
I realize then that it is not me who is cutting anyone out. Not so much as it is people, who are not offering me anything to dissect, or incision me with interest.
The choice appears to be one of settling.
Do I choose to associate with people who can only exist on, what feels to me like, an unsatisfying level?
Or do I not make any contact with them, and allow them to leave my life all together? (since I don't feel that we are together.)
If life is worth something, shouldn't that imply that I have the right to be fulfilled by the way that others are living their life?
--DJ--
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